Growing Seeds

It is tempting to be discouraged by the amount of people in this world that need help. Sometimes I feel like giving up before I even start. Somehow the more you learn, the more you realize how desperate your cause. However, I try to think of it this way.

When you are planting a garden from seed, do you count your seeds or the plants that grow from them?

When you see a beautiful Poppy plant do you think: I wish the other tiny seeds I planted grew as well? No, you are too absorbed by the living plant and the joy it brings overcomes the loss of seed. In the same way, we think of the souls and bodies saved as each their own beautiful plant.

And no amount of regret can diminish the beauty of their worshipping hearts.

You Can't, But God Can

I am disgusted by people’s passion without action. I feel like all our “putting on airs” and worrying about painted nails and cute skirts and curled hair is pointless. I am disgusted with my friends who talk about what “God is speaking to their hearts” when they turn around and spend two hours picking out an outfit for the next day. I am so sick of people who are like “oh I just can’t wait to worship tonight” when they are going to sit in their comfortable pews singing words about their feelings. I am disgusted with piles of clothes in my room and the boots that I spent money on when I could just wear sneakers all day and be content.

I am having a hard time being okay with this culture anymore.

I am having trouble figuring out what is right and what is wrong anymore. It just doesn’t seem fair that people have to live like that out there and we just fill up our coffee cups and are irritated when it burns our tongues.

I know that just because we are blessed does not mean that other people are cursed.

I know that just because we are born into a comfortable situation doesn’t mean we are guilty. But I definitely think we are responsible for a whole lot more conviction that we are feeling. And not even just the conviction, but inaction upon in-conviction. Like a double-whammy.

I am sick of being convicted and not doing anything about it. I am sick of these mountaintop experiences that just lead to valleys once more. I am sick of myself. I am saddened by how much hurt needs to be changed in this world. Like right now, my friend who was just crying about injustice in Cambodia is whining because she has nothing to wear. I am doing all I can not to scream out “people in the world have nothing else to wear but one single t-shirt” and there are little lost boys right now sitting in the dirt emaciated and dehumanized.

I cannot see the proper dividing line between being overly content and being just enough content. Thankfully we worship and are created by a God who can redeem any circumstance. He is powerful enough to bring people to his salvation without our help.

But he has offered us as living sacrifices upon the altar of his will. He is holding the pitcher, and we are the ones who need to step up and pour ourselves out.

I think we forget when we say that “only God can change a sinners heart” that our hearts are the most sinful. That only God can change our hearts. The most difficult thing is that we lie to ourselves a whole lot.

We concentrate on the bad that others are doing only to realize that we are capable and guilty of doing the very same.

I am just as materialistic as my friends and the real issue is that I am guiltier because I know it. They may not realize their materialism, but when I realize mine I point directly at them and divide my own blame.

I am convinced that the whole Christian life is the realization that you can't, but GOD CAN.